DON'T give me any old oil about footy players being exhausted after

having shuffled about a pitch twice in a week.

I saw, as millions did, the hapless Jana Novotna lose in the women's

singles at Wimbledon, and lose again on the same day in the doubles.

That was damn near eight hours on court on one day.

And tennis clubs are practically aff their heids with decency. Which

is why I took it into mine to jouk round a few tennis clubs and find out

what goes on post-Wimbledon at such places.

Nothing would do but a visit to a very part of my youth, the august

Newlands Tennis Club, just on the edge of one of the most splendid

though doucest suburbs of Glasgow city, Newlands itself, and the other

edge being the quietest and most desirable housing scheme in Europe,

Merrylee.

I once thought of this club as the other side of the tracks. It is not

so now.

Undeniably it is expensive to be a member, but not that much. Subs for

seniors are #140 a year, for juniors #65. The intermediate members,

players aged between 18 and 22, pay #92.

The bar convener, Alan Turnbull, admits the last group are a difficult

area in that the intermediates are likely to be students and the most

financially vulnerable of all, but there is sponsorship and a fair bit

of fund-raising.

Cash over the bar helps a bit, but, like most tennis clubs, the

reliance is on subs. There is no profit in this business if you don't

count the smashing game itself.

Newlands' last annual report showed assets of #180,000, but

resurfacing of the seven all-weather courts -- Savannah surfaces, that

is to say artificial grass and sand -- cost 120 grand four years back,

and resurfacing will come back as an expenditure again and again.

Needless to say this prime site in a prime area is worth millions of

pounds. The remarkable Maxwell family left the ground to Newlands and

legally bound it to be what it is, a leisure area.

The Newlands pro, Roy Grant, a Fifeshire chap who has travelled in

many lands and been at the club for two years, charges a modest 12 quid

per individual coaching session, but generally advises parents to send

their weans on squad coaching sessions -- 12 children at #2 an hour

apiece makes him a little more, but it seems to me damned cheap at the

price.

He told me he loves his job but not as much as the kids clearly love

him. I watched him at work on Saturday, (he does seven days a week at 10

and more hours a day) and his patter is designed to make young weans

want to be champions. Georgina, playing only a year, is advised not to

worry about this ageing hack watching: ''There'll be thousands when

you're playing your first Wimbledon.''

Partickhill is across the Clyde in Hyndland, and has a mere three

blaise courts, for it is primarily a bowling club. Subs are #25 per

annum for seniors and #15 for juniors.

It is a modest little place with a lovely little clubhouse and the

prospect is grand. Lesley and Dougie I meet in the shade of the bar.

Both tell me how friendly the club is, but they need new members.

There are only 55 seniors, where Newlands has more than 800. But is is

a nice little club, and if there is undeniable rivalry among all the

clubs in Scotland, there is a lot of fraternity too.

As at Sunday's vets' (over 55s) tournament betwixt Newlands and

Berkshire as part of the run-up to the finals in Telford. Janette

Coulter from traditional enemies of the south-side Glasgow Club,

Whitecraigs, was there to overlook things.

But she told me her rivals Newlands were also big in squash, and

indeed they are.

Newlands has its squash team in Rotterdam in September in the

international club championship, representing, if you like, Scotland.

With three squash courts at the moment they have been able to grasp

nearly #150,000 through the auspices of the Sports Council, and are

rebuilding four courts with spectator facilities.

Sponsorship in both tennis and squash is not high -- though all credit

to Everest Double Glazing for its help over the years. Yet money is

tight. Said professional Roy Grant: ''The Lawn Tennis Association is

indeed elitist. That fact is stopping a real elite emerging.''

I wish there were more Roy Grants about Wimbledon during the mad

fortnight. And more youngsters like Stuart and Jane and Gillian who

blithely informed me that they play every day during the holidays.

Sometimes you wish you had school holidays yourself.